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Create Subdomains on the fly with .htaccess (PHP)

I am looking to create a system which on signup will create a subdomain on my website for the users account area.
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Cached, PHP generated Thumbnails load slow: How to find problem/solution from Waterfall graphs?

Question Part A ▉ (100 bountys, awarded) Main question was how to make this site, load faster. First we needed to read these waterfalls. Thanks all for your suggestions on the waterfall readout analysis. Evident from the various waterfall graphs shown here is the main bottleneck: the PHP-generated thumbnails. The protocol-less jquery loading from CDN advised by David got my bounty, albeit making my site only 3% faster overall, and while not answering the site's main bottleneck. Time for for clarification of my question, and, another bounty: